is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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