They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I smell like Dick and happiness
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
