i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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