I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
