Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
