Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize