I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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