Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
