The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
