Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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