Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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