If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
