i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
