I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Can't talk, ducks in the car
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
