I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
