i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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