im drinking this country out of the recession.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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