i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
