Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize