Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
