my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize