At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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