You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
