I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize