And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
