Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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