shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
