brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
