Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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