After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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