It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
