Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
