Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
