i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
