I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
