Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
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She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
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I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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