jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
"it" just moved
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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