Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
