Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I love you. Go after that dick
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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