it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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