Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
