Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
