He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
