I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
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bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
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Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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