He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Too much gin, very little bucket
do herpes really smell.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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