taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
