Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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