For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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