it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
