To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
