apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
