He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
