We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
