what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Your cock deserves a montage
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
