he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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