i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
