Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
