How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
