You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
