Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize