omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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