Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Shame - the story of my life.
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