I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
